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When the story surfaced that Rob and Michele Singer Reiner had been killed and their son, Nick Reiner, was a possible suspect, it brought addiction back into the public spotlight. However, parents affected by a child’s substance use are concerned the dialogue will center on an extremely uncommon act of homicide rather than the more widespread dangers of the condition.

A Familiar Pain

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been closely following the developments. They only knew the Reiners by their work, yet they identify deeply: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to opioids and later illicit drugs, much like Nick Reiner, and spent years in and out of rehabilitation and jail. After seven excruciating years, their son got sober in July 2010.

“It’s just tragic,” states Grover. “It tears you up, because that’s a family torn apart, just like so many other families we know whose loved ones succumbed to the disease of addiction.”

Understanding the Epidemic

More than two-thirds of Americans report their lives have been impacted by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a family member’s addiction, homelessness due to addiction, or an drug-related emergency leading to medical care or death, according to 2023 data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or tens of millions of people, had a substance use disorder in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how wealthy you are, no matter how poor you are, no matter how influential you are,” stated Grover.

Fear of Stigma

The Reiner story struck a chord with Greg, who leads a parent organization. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a profound effect on others’ lives.”

However, he is concerned that the murders will make people “deeply suspicious of anybody who’s struggles with having an addiction, and think that they could become violent at any point in time. And that’s simply inaccurate,” Greg added.

These “are really crucial discussions to have, since addiction is so widespread in the United States and the rates have consistently risen,” stated an academic researcher who studies addiction and criminal justice. She pointed to the significant social prejudice surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “idea of someone being really a threat and the potential for causing violence.”

She also advised against jumping to conclusions about the alleged role of the son or his state at the time, noting it is unclear whether drugs or mental health issues were involved recently.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and this condition, and fill in the gaps to try to explain what happened,” she said. “Because of his past, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to unpredictable behavior, and some substances may increase aggression, a violent crime like a double homicide is exceptionally rare.

“The huge majority of people with addiction or substance use disorder do not ever show anything even approaching to violent behavior. It’s a true anomaly,” the expert explained. “The actual reality is a person is significantly more likely to hurt themselves than anyone else.”

A Parent’s Fear

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not of their sons, but about them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to die at some point,” Greg said. “If he returns to using, it’s eventually going to claim his life. That’s my greatest terror. And my other fear is just being cut off from him.” He described the painful decisions parents face, such as setting limits and sometimes making the “excruciating” choice that an adult child cannot reside in the family home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you went to sleep, that you could get a phone call or that visit from authorities telling you that he was gone forever,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, 365 days a year, for a parent.”

He recounted the harrowing calls: from the ER saying a son was not breathing; from prison, where a parent might rationalize behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he committed theft to support his habit; at least he wasn’t burglarizing the neighbors’ houses.’”

The Loneliness of the Struggle

Parents often battle loneliness—questioning whether the addiction stemmed from some mistake they made; bearing guilt for a child’s actions; and worrying about judgment from others directed at both parent and child.

It is extremely challenging to understand a family’s ordeal without having been through it, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can shift instantly. You could be perfectly happy one day and miserable the next... It’s not uncommon for that to happen.”

The Path Forward

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to become sober.

“Just as you can recover from any other type of disease, you can get over this disease, too. You can recover and be productive,” said Grover. “If you work at it and you stumble, you get up and try again.”

Today, his son is a husband and a father, holds a college degree, and works as a union electrician. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it could not be forced.

“I can push him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t reach for my hand for help, it’s not going to work,” he said.

Yet, they always reiterated they loved him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s supporting someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll take it and take it.”